What if we had to learn everything we know from TV and movies? If that were the case, then we’d automatically assume the following is true:
• All phone numbers in America begin with 555.
• All grocery shopping bags have at least one stick of French bread in them.
• When paying for a taxi, there’s no need to look at your wallet as you take out a bill. Just grab one at random and give it to the driver. It will always be the exact fare.
• Anyone waking from a nightmare will bolt upright in bed and pant.
• Even when driving on a perfectly straight road, it’s necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few seconds.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to explode.
• Any lock can be picked with a credit card or a paper clip in seconds . . . unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
• It’s always possible to park directly outside the building you want to enter.
• Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
• You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
• TV news bulletins always contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
• Anyone can land a plane if there’s someone in the control tower to talk you down.
• Once applied, lipstick will never come off . . . even while scuba diving.
• If you need to pass yourself off as a German officer, it’s not necessary to actually speak the language. A German accent will do.
• There are no light switches in kitchens. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
• Mothers usually cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
• A detective can only solve a case after he’s been suspended from duty.
• It doesn’t matter if you’re heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attach you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you’ve knocked out their predecessors.
• When they’re alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
• It’s not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
-Briomag.com